Top 5 ways that 'Mighty Morphin Power Rangers' shaped our world

Saban Entertainment’s iconic creation Mighty Morphin Power Rangers was a 90’s educational TV serial, loosely veiled as a live-action children’s martial arts romp. The show often goes uncredited for how it shaped the belief system of a generation, and heavily influenced modern society. 

Here we break down the top 5 ways that Mighty Morphin Power Rangers has shaped our world


1) POSITIVE DISCRIMINATION IS OK

Being a Ranger meant you were part of a cosmopolitan melting pot. One that always maintained a perfect balance of America’s primary cultures; white male American, white female American, black American, Asian American, long-haired goth/rocker American, and autistic-spectrum American. (see fig.1)

 
fig.1 - Original 'Teenage' melting pot 

fig.1 - Original 'Teenage' melting pot 

 


When black American male, Zack, left the team, he was quickly replaced by black American female, Aisha. Phew. Close call, Rangers! So as not to alter the strict 4:2 male to female ratio (now evident in the modern workplace - no coincidence) the once loved Asian American female, Trini, was immediately retired* in favour of Asian American male, Adam, who quickly filled the discriminative hole in the team (see fig 2). Gender and cultural harmony restored. Now that’s equality!

 
fig.2 - The new harmonious Rangers

fig.2 - The new harmonious Rangers

 

* Like a good racehorse, a ranger is never killed. It is ‘retired’.

 

2) STAY IN SCHOOL, KIDS.

The yearly rise in school completion statistics (see fig 3) since the 90’s is a testament to the shows core theme - school is the #1 priority, over galavanting with your friends. 

The Rangers were clearly in their late 20’s, and still trying to pass their American GCSEs. Sure, they are having a great time fighting an intergalactic war. But what happens when they want to have kids, or get a mortgage? All this ‘butt kicking’ isn’t going to help them work their way up the ladder of a FTSE 250 company.

Not cool Power Rangers. NOT cool. 

 

fig.3 # Kids completing basic schooling - June 2016

The future spike is due to the reboot of the franchise.
 

 

3) SAME-SEX PARENTING FTW.

The Power Rangers’ birth parents clearly didn’t love them. In the pre-mobile-phone era, these ‘children’ would have been reported missing, or presumed dead, almost immediately. 90’s life statistics, and hindsight, help us to understand two probable reasons for their parents lack of love:

1) ALCOHOLISM - affecting 1 in 5 American ‘nuclear’ families. (If pop culture taught us anything, this is more appropriate to long-haired goth/rocker Ranger, Tommy. Unlucky, Tommy.)

2) DEATH - the Rangers were clearly in their late 30’s, and their parents may have already been dead.

Enter two unlikely figures to carve a path for the wayward ‘youth’. Zordon; representing the modern distant Father, the stern patriarchal figure communicating only via skype-tube. And the second, camp robot Dad, Alpha. Aye aye aye, did Alpha worry about his ‘kids’.

Despite Zordon’s complete disregard for their safety, the couple did a great job of keeping those 40 year old whippersnappers on the straight and narrow. And, like the best gender-mixed parents, kept them alive at a rate of 5:1. That’s better than the odds of surviving cot death (see fig 4). A real step forward for same-sex parenting.

 

Fig.4

Please note: The Ranger death shown in the graph was merely temporary. Cot death is permanent.
 

 

4) KEEP AN ACE IN THE HOLE

There are about one hundred ways that the Power Rangers have affected our lives. We could provide an exhaustive list, but we must heed the Japanese TV export’s 4th life lesson - ALWAYS hold something back.

The Power Rangers have a plethora of robotic dinosaurs hiding in the desert. They could have whipped them out on a whim and squashed any foe almost immediately. But, it’s all a matter of scale - you don’t turn up to a fist fight with a robot.* 

The ramifications are clearly evident in modern American defense strategy - the U.S. has more nuclear firepower than the rest of the world combined (also hidden in a desert) but, like the Power Rangers, they are content in the knowledge that they have them at their disposal. There’s no need to go waving your warhead / dinosaur about unnecessarily.

 *Valuable bonus lesson

And finally, the most important lesson of all...

 

5) PROPER GESTICULATION WHEN WEARING LYCRA.

If the Rangers taught us anything, it was how to correctly and excessively gesture whilst wearing lycra. Lycra, by its very nature, is distracting (the colours and contours alone are a nightmare). Bold and clear hand signals are essential to ensure people know your intentions.

You can see the ripple effect on modern society by looking at the UK’s top 3 lycra hobbies of 2016:

1) CYCLING - observed when a cyclist is expressing distaste towards a fellow road user, or preparing to turn. 

2) PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING - observed when a wrestler is speaking into a microphone, or feeling immense amounts of ‘pain’. 

3) YOGA - observed when practising all the yogas.
 

Namaste, Rangers. And thanks for your input into the world.